Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (2008)

Grand. Perfect. Masterpiece. (GPM)

Final Verdict: Go rent any movie. Go play any video game. Go read any book or listen to any record. And then know this: it isn't one percent of one percent of one percent of the greatness of this game. The script is so deep, the characters are so extraordinary, the gameply is so exhilerating and the action so intense that everything else will seem simple, boring, and childish in comparison. So if you've been playing this series from the beginning, been through the ups and downs and everything in between, been a fan for over ten years and probably for far more, then this is your just reward. Everything finally comes to a close in the most epic, most shocking, and most beautiful way. Enjoy, because this is the end of a great franchise and the birth of a whole new genre of entertainment-- the "perfectainment".

And Hollywood, for all your glory, I can't imagine you'll come close to producing something on this level, so don't even try. It'll just be embarrassing.

Spoiler(s): Space Oddity.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: Motherf---ing awesome.

Maxed Out: Hard Times, Easy Credit and the Era of Predatory Lenders (2007)

Ignorant. Ill-concieved. Awareness. (IIA)

Final Verdict: If you want to watch a documentary about corporate america taking advantage of people who can't take responsibility for themselves, then this is the movie for you. It's another film about "victims" who want sympathy for their ignorance and a free ride for their mistakes-- how lame. But on the plus side, it does make you more aware of your own personal finances and about budgeting your money.

Spoiler(s): A credit card isn't free money, FYI.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 88%

Hellraiser (1987)

Cool. Violent. Creepy. (CVC)

Final Verdict: The story is a little hokey and the actors are all hacks, but there are some really awesome scenes and some cool animation. Plus, the central villians of the film, the Cenobites, are the most badass collection of horror freaks around. The movie isn't as gruesome or graphic as some of the more recent horror films, like Saw or Hostel, but it's still really f---ing creepy and god damn scary. Check it out.
Spoiler(s): There's a dude in the movie that uses peoples' skin as a body suit...

...just like me...

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 61%

Groundhog Day (1993)

Whimsical. Light-hearted. Feel-good. (WLF)

Final Verdict: For those of you that judge Bill Murray's talent based solely upon the crap he's putting out today, go back and watch this movie and see why he was a comic legend in his day. This film is both the culmination and peek of Murray's career, and an excellent movie in any right. It's funny and intereseting, and has a great message about the important things in life. Buy it now!

Spoiler(s): If you go to the link below, and then make a purchase of this movie-- I get ten cents! Do it.

Buy "Groundhog Day" on DVD!

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 95%

The King Of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007)

Gripping. Inspiring (kind of). Nerdy. (GIN)

Final Verdict: You may think that a documentary about two rival arcade players competing for the highest score in a Donkey Kong game my sound laughable at best, not to mention lame or boring, but you couldn't be more wrong. After about thirty minutes into the film you'll be so involved with all the characters and so emotionally attached to the outcome that you won't be able turn away. I give this one a full recommendation!

Spoiler(s): Watching this film will gaurentee that you won't get any action for at least a month (or at most your entire life).

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 97%

Gone Baby Gone (2007)

Dramatic. Powerful. (DP)

Final Verdict: Great, great movie. Ben Afflick does an amazing job directing, while his brother, Casey Afflick, does even better job acting and bringing the story to life. The plot immediately immerses you in the characters and their conflicts, and the best part, the ending, is so powerful and thought-provoking that it'll leave you speechless for days. One of the best dramatic films around.

Spoiler(s): The movie ends with Godzilla battling an army of undead, cyborg aliens.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 94%

Casino Royale (2006)

Poker. Spies. Dames. (PSD)

Final Verdict: I'm only familiar with the James Bond flicks starring Pierce Bronsnan, but I officially declare this as my favorite Bond movie and Daniel Craig as my favorite Bond actor. This movie revitalizes a series thats been going down the drain for quite a while.

Spoiler(s): Milk, eggs, and most dairy products.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 94%

Forbidden Planet (1956)

Intriguing. Science. Psychology. (ISP)

Final Verdict: At first the movie seems content with being simple and entertaining, but as the plot progresses it reveals larger themes (such as Freudian philosophy) and deeper meaning. The special effects are absolutely amazing for it's time, and all the actors and actresses make excellent preformances. Greastest of all, the lead male actor in the film is Leslie Nelson... in his prime!

Spoiler(s): I don't know which is better: the walking, talking robot named "Robbie" or the young Leslie Nelson with a full head of brown hair. I'm stumped.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 94%

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

High-Octane. Sci-fi. Throwback. (HST)

Final Verdict: The newest iteration to the Indiana Jones franchise stays very true to the original series, but it's also not afraid to take a few bold new steps. Some of the cheesier scenes almost ruin the entire affair, but they're forgiveable in leui of some very engaging action sequences. It's a fifty-fifty whether you'll love or hate the new sci-fi direction, but I think it's irrelevant in relation to the great characters, thrilling action sequences, and nostalgic storyline. Plus, Shia LaBeouf is a great addition to the series and he should play every character of every movie till he's dead. With everything taken into consideration however, it's probably the weakest film in the franchise.

Spoiler(s): The chick from the first film (actress Karen Allen) makes a dramatic return-- woo!

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 77%

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

Long. Aimless. Boring. (LAB)

Final Verdict: The length of this movie could be cut in half, and it'd still be too long. Every scene contains a dozen dramatic pauses, and each seems to drag on forever. The acting is great and the ending is cool, but everything else falls short. Don't waste your time.

Spoiler(s): Jesse James is assassinated by the coward Robert Ford.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 75%

Indian Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

Great. American. Adventure. (GAA)

Final Verdict: The classic Indy formula of action and adventure remains the same, but the film is kept fresh thanks to the addition of a new father/son dynamic. Harrison Ford and Sean Connery play off each other remarkably well, and the result is another amazing movie from the collabrorative minds of Spielberg and Lucas.


Spoiler(s): Indiana is a dog.


Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 89%

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Suspenceful. Outstanding. Fun. (SOF)


Final Verdict: This is my favorite Indy film, and one of my favorite films of all time. A must-see for anyone not blind.


Spoiler(s): This is a prequel (not a sequel) to Raiders of the Lost Ark.


Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 86%

100 Girls (2000)

Goofy. Charming. Sexism. (GCS)


Final Verdict: It's a preachy chick flick camoflauged in T&A, it's douchebaggy, and the main characater practically neuters his manhood at the end of the film-- but it's still good. It's a simple analysis of men and women from a guys perspectives, but the key to it's success is it's blatant charm and relatebility. There's a possibility that you may get annoyed by it, but I think you should at least check it out.


Spoiler(s): F--- you, I'm not spoiling the movie.


Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 60%

The Brave One (2007)

Dull. Formulaic. Unorginal. (PFU)


Final Verdict: I struggled to stay awake in this lackluster thriller. Simply put: it's been done before and it's been done better.


Spoiler(s): Jodie Foster is gay.


Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 43%