Lakeview Terrace (2008)

Machismo. Misogynistic. Intensity. (MMI)

Final Verdict: Samuel L. Jackson is a whore. He's in a thousand movies each year, and as such, it's difficult to determine which titles of his to go see and which ones to avoid like the plague. Some of his performances are brilliant (i.e. Pulp Fiction, Die Hard With A Vengeance, Snakes On A Plane), but others are complete drek (i.e. everything else). Fortunately, Lakeview Terrace can be lumped in the former category. Jackson really shines in his performance as a racist, bitter, alpha-male nieghbor and it's difficult to see anyone else as intimidating as he is in the same role. The script also allows a lot of depth for Jackson's character, which he pulls off with ease, and there is some deep psycological and cultural interaction that occurs between Jackson's character and his new neighbors (Patrick Wilson, Kerry Washington). Unfortunately, the movie does have some flaws. The deep tension and realism that is developed in the first three-quaters of the movie just sorta fizzles out near the end. Additionally, since the movie was so rooted in psycological tension throughout most of the film it was disappointing, albeit somewhat expected, to see the ending resort to cliche and generic plot devices. Overall, it was very enjoyable and I must give it my recommendation, if only to see Jackson performing his best in a role that was meant to be his.

Spoiler(s): Who doesn't love a good interracial relationship? I sure do. I watch thousands of them everyday from the comfort and privacy of my own personal laptop.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 47%
"I am the police! You have to do what I say! -Abel Turner

Gran Torino (2008)

Offensive. Meaningful. Brilliant. (OMB)

Final Verdict: Gran Torino is the story of an old, white racist who must find the courage and strength in his heart to overcome his bigotry and save a poor, weak neighborhood of Hmong people from themselves and the surrounding violent minorities. It's clearly not as progressive as it would like you to believe, but cultural significance aside, it's still a fantastic movie. Clint Eastwood gives one of the best performances of his life by making a rude, bitter, openly-racist character likeable and inspiring in his honest, simple, and traditional lifestyle. Eastwood's portrayel of Walt Kowalski is so life-like that I could hardly discern whether the character was real or fictional. Unfortunately, some of the Hmong actors/actresses aren't of the same caliber as Eastwood, and their performances become occassionally distracting. That aside, I absolutely loved this movie and highly recommend it to anyone who is not easily offended.

Spoiler(s): If you own a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, a loaded-rifle, a Ford pickup truck, and a dog named "Daisy", then you are Captain America and I salute you.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 79%
"Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me." -Walt Kowalski

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

Short. Awful. Dated. (SAD)

Final Verdict: The simply fact about this movie is that it is bad. And not good bad. Bad bad. It's short (an hour long), the dialogue is weak, and the special effects look terrible (i.e. the 50ft characters are half transparent). I'm sure there is a large group of people that love this movie for it's concept or because it's so cheesy, but I'm not one of them. Given that it's so dated I'll give it some kudos for attempting to visualize something difficult at the time, but not enough to recommend it.

Spoiler(s): I hardly saw so much as a side-boob. Fairly disappointing. I expected at least a few upskirt shots, but whatever.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 70%
"Astonishing growth!" -Dr. Isaac Cushing

Taken (2009)

Search. Fight. Repeat. (SFR)

Final Verdict: Nothing new or original can be taken (no pun intended) from this film. It's simple, narrow, and predictable, and if you've seen the trailer then you've seen most of the movie. But luckily, that's part of it's charm. The movie doesn't pretend to be anything it's not. The action is quick, the dialogue is short, and the plot doesn't require the viewer to hang on every word or have a degree in criminal justice. It's refreshing to see a film that doesn't require depth as a prerequisite for A-list actors, good cinematography, and a competent director. Overall, it's a great way to spend an evening, but isn't worth multiple viewings.

Spoiler(s): Being selected for slave-prostituion is just another form of flattery.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 57%
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."- Bryan Mills

The Dark Knight (2008)

Complex. Dark. Masterpiece. (CDM)

Final Verdict: Ironman pushed the superhero genre to it's peak, creating an amazing action/adventure film with awesome special effects and an exciting story. The Dark Knight, however, transcends the genre by merging complex philosophical ideas with compelling characters and a realistic atmosphere. It is by far the best superhero flick around, and possibly my favorite movie of all time. Kudos MUST be given to Heath Ledger, because his role as the Joker is simply the best performance I have ever seen-- hands down. He truly makes this movie what it is. If you haven't seen The Dark Knight yet, then you're a bastard and a communist and nobody likes you. Go see it. :)

Spoiler(s): Batman gets a cold at somepoint in the movie. It's never clear when he gets sick, but throughout the film he sounds nasaly, raspy, and awkward. Maybe Bruce Wayne needs to redesign a warmer bat suit, becasue he only sounds like a f---ing retard with the suit on.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 94%

"Some men just want to watch the world burn." -Alfred Pennyworth

No Country For Old Men (2007)

Intense. Violent. Surprising. (IVS)

Final Verdict: This is a great, great film. The directing is absolutely incredible, the script is one of a kind, and the acting is the best I've seen in years. The dialogue is sharp, powerful, and memorable, and it's the quieter, subtler moments that really shine. There's also an equal amount of gritty, edge-of-your-seat suspense the likes of which I haven't seen since The Shining or What Lies Beneath. Thanks to stellar performances by Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, and Josh Brolin (the three male leads) the characters come alive and make you really care for them. The only MAJOR disappointment is in the last five minutes; the film just sort of abrubtly ends. It's shocking and awkward, and could possibly ruin the movie for some folks. That aside, you should go see it; you will be absolutely amazed and thoroughly entertained.

Spoiler(s): I would spoil the ending... but there isn't one.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 94%

"I always figured when I got older, God would sorta come inta my life somehow. And he didn't. I don't blame him. If I was him I would have the same opinion of me that he does." -Ed Tom Bell

The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008)

Environmental. Visual. Eh. (EVE)

Final Verdict: Because Hollywood has completely run out of new ideas and must rely on modernizing or updating films of the past, we get a remake of a popular sci-fi movie from the 1950's. The orginal film was essentially a moral story about war and peace, but the remake focuses heavily on environmentalism and global warming (albeit very subtlely). In the beginning it's amazing how alike the old and new films are, but about halfway through the story finally begins to diverge. And while the original film uses dialog to progress the plot, this one relies heavily on special effects; neither strategy works out particularly well though and both seem to settle for a level of mediocracy. I think the original is clearly the better of the two, but this remake is enjoyable as long as the viewer goes into it with very low expectations.

Spoiler(s): Klaatu is still Klaatu, and Gort is still G.O.R.T... the universe can rest easy.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 19%
Polygraph Operator: Do you feel pain?
Klaatu: My Body does.