Punisher: War Zone (2008)

Graphic. Exaggerated. Fun. (GEF)

Final Verdict:This film clearly isn't going to win any awards, but it's still enjoyable for it's over-the-top violence and non-stop action. Don't expect it to be realistic or grounded though, because it's definitely not that. It is, however, a fun way to just "let loose" and watch a maniac murder some bad guys. Compared to Thomas Jane's Punisher it's missing a more interesting, diverse, and sympathetic cast of charaters, but it makes up for it in blood. I feel bad recommending it, but I have no choice; go see it. It's a good way to spend ninety minutes.

Spoiler(s): This film will be re-made/rebooted in another three years starring Shia Labeouf, that new guy from Star Trek, and that other new guy from Avatar.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 26%

"You have the right to shut the fuck up!"-Special Agent Paul Budiansky

Tropic Thunder (2008)

Easy. Big-Budget. Mediocracy. (EBM)

Final Verdict: No matter how much I try and avoid this movie, there's always someone who hasn't seen it yet or someone who wants to watch it. Unforutunately, it's only mediocre at best. There are some humorous moments between Ben Stiller and Jay Baruchel, but they are too few and far between to make the film enjoyable. If you must see it, you might want to fast-forward until the end because the last twenty minutes are actually pretty amusing. However, please try to skip this star-stutted, lackluster film.

Spoiler(s): Tom Cruise makes an appearance, and proves once again that he is one of the best actors/break-dancers of all time.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 82%

"Everybody knows you never go full retard."-Kirk Lazarus

Braveheart (1995)

Aggressive. Noble. Epicness. (ANE)

Final Verdict: Most men secretly wish they could fight for their lives in a battle for freedom, but most men also wish to stay alive; watching Braveheart is a happy and acceptable medium. It's both violent and inspiring, so it has my overwhelming approval. However, if you are not as unflinchingly manly as I am, you may experience feelings of insecurity amd sheepishness watching Mel Gibson slay some brits while you lazily reach from more Cheetohs and popcorn from your LoveSac.

Spoiler(s): Freedom costs a buck 'o five.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 76%

"Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... Our freedom!!!"-William Wallace

Caprica (2009)

Lifeless. Boring. Nostalgia. (LBN)

Final Verdict: Battlestar Galactica was interesting and thought-provoking on many levels, but what drove the show the most was the interactions between the characters and thier connection with the audience. Caprica, on the other hand, has some pretty neat science fiction elements, but the characters are so boring and void of personality that it's hard to care for what happens to them. The nostaglia and TV references may keep your attention throughout the movie, but not enough to come back for more. It will only serve as a stark reminder of the great TV series which is no more.

Spoiler(s): There is some nipple in this film and it's female. Fuck yeah!

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: N/A